I really like structure, but I’m not good at self-imposed structure. Which means that summer break is hard. No structure. Just endless days of trying.

And I’m sort of done with it now. It’s fun in the beginning to have more time as a family and to feel free from the confines of school. But then there are days and days that I just have to figure out, not only for myself, but for the rest of my household. And that household is a lot sometimes. I have an almost-teenager who wants to be with friends all the time, an almost preteen who primarily plays video games, a scattered boy who is often imagining, and a little girl who thinks that I need to entertain her. And I also have two cats who poop by my front door, two geese who like to tear things apart with their bills, one duck who decided to go broody, and two baby ducks who are quickly growing into adults. And a turtle who likes the occasional strawberries. I also have a house and a yard that have their own needs that I don’t always meet very well.

We have gone camping and hiking and swimming and canoeing. We’ve gone on a bike ride and played with a slip ‘n slide. We’ve been to parades. We’ve had birthdays and parties. We’ve seen family. We’ve gone to national parks and state parks and city parks.

We’ve had some awesome experiences. And some really good little experiences too. And I am really grateful for all those good summer moments.

But so many messes. So much complaining.

I miss structure. I miss needing to be places and do things because other people are expecting me to show up. I miss my own school. I miss my kids having structure. I just don’t love being home with them all day for days on end. We usually go lots of places so that we’re not home all the time, but sometimes we get sick of going places too.

I miss school lunch. I miss my kids’ teachers. They are wonderful, and they deserve a good break (and better support and more pay). They enable my kids to be better. They help me so much in raising my kids to be the best version of themselves. It’s hard to do it without them during the summer months.

If you are struggling with summer, you are not alone. It’s hot and tiring and itchy and exhausting.

I will keep going, and do the best I can to enjoy the rest of my summer. We still have great things planned: more camping, more hiking, more canoeing, more fishing.

There are only 26 more days . . . that’s the number of letters in the alphabet . . . maybe I can making something fun out of that . . .

(That waterfall was a highlight so far this summer.)