When I first heard about the the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator, I was extremely confused about the random combination of letters. ISTJ? ESFP? I had no idea what people were talking about.

I did some Google searches, read some articles, and took some tests. I still can’t keep all the letters straight, and the results never resonated with me. I felt that I couldn’t be categorized, that I was a more complex individual than what the personality test was telling me.

And over the years, I’ve changed a lot. My personality is different now as a stay-at-home parent than it was when I was in college or working full-time. I’ve not only adapted to different situations, but I’ve grown and become a better person.

When I was younger, I would have said I was an introvert. I liked books and people scared me. But I worked on overcoming my fears. I set goals so that I was more comfortable talking with other people — not so I could change my personality type, but because I wanted to be in a position to look outside myself, make friends, and help others more.

I love being with people now, but not because I want to be the center of attention. Instead, I want to listen and talk and connect with others. I want to learn how to stop thinking about myself, stop selfishly pursuing what I want, and try to instead help others and make the world a better place.

Personality tests are focused very much on you and what you want. Personality tests don’t care about serving other people and improving relationships.

I could spend a lot of time thinking about what I want out of life. I could spend a lot of time categorizing myself and refusing to change who I am. But that’s not who I want to be. I want to be constantly improving, and I want to be improving and changing in a way that allows me to help and serve others.

I don’t need to analyze how I think and make decisions. I don’t need to determine if I’m more emotional or rational. I don’t need to spend hours determining exactly how I function and exactly what I want out of life. I want to take myself out of the equation entirely and think about myself a whole lot less.

Because my life isn’t about me. It’s about my family, my friends, my community, and all the people I can help.