I’ve changed a lot over the years:
- At one point when I was young, I wanted to work with animals when I grew up because I loved animals so much. I grew up, and I don’t even like animals very much anymore.
- I also thought I would write and publish young adult novels. I used to read young adult fantasy novels all the time and I thought I would read them for the rest of my life. And while I still read them on occasion, they are not my favorite books. I read more boring books now, like lots of nonfiction.
- I loved Harry Potter. And I still like the books, but with everything Harry Potter is now, I don’t care for it very much.
- I majored in English and philosophy. And it was great for that time in my life. But if I were to go back to school again, I would major in something like economics.
- I was quite a shy person and I would have considered myself an introvert, but then I became a stay-at-home mom and I suddenly figured out that I love being with other people.
Now, these things were huge parts of who I was. And they changed. And I know that I’m going to keep changing as my life continues. I’ve gone in completely different directions than I ever thought. I’ve changed so many of my opinions, viewpoints, and fears. I’ve changed what I like to do. I’ve changed parts of my personality and how I act.
There are certain things that have stayed the same and I expect will stay the same the rest of my life, particularly my deepest held convictions like my faith in God, my love for family, and my desire to be a good person.
But so much of my life and who I am right now is temporary. It won’t be that way for forever. It isn’t really who I am in the long run–it’s just what’s happening right now.
Sometimes we think when we are young that we’re going to decide who we are going to be for the rest of our lives and we’re just going to go forward with our plans and live the life we imagined. But in my experience, life gets a whole lot more complicated than that. We change and evolve. It’s a good thing–I think I’ve gotten better over the years, after all. And while I’m not achieving the same life goals I had when I was young, I’m still working towards good things.
Change is good. Because the person who I was before is not quite as capable as the person I am now. Some things I thought were really important turned out not to be very important at all. Some things that were afterthoughts have become the primary focus of my life.
And I’m happy to be here, right now, even if this isn’t the life I envisioned. Because who I am right now and the life that actually happened is a whole lot better than I ever expected.