I was talking to fellow grad students one day, and some of them are basically dedicating all of their time to grad school, with a little bit of fun and enjoyment thrown in there.

That’s not me right me.

I go to graduate school, but I have another job too. I am a parent.

Today, I had a lot of things to deal with. I tried to teach one child gratitude, another one better social skills. I helped with piano practice. I checked in on homework. I managed media time, locking up devices and turning things on and off as needed. I cooked dinner, and then made sure that the kids who didn’t want to eat that dinner still ended up eating something nutritious instead of just scarfing down tortilla chips. I baked cookies with my daughter, using the library book she checked out from the school library, and we successfully made a sugar cookie bowl. I played a card game with my son. I drove another daughter to a church activity. I ordered groceries for pick-up tomorrow. I ordered a new wifi adapter for the kids’ computer. I checked in with a kid who has started a journal and he showed me his entry. I washed sheets and I made beds and ensured that my kids showered and brushed their teeth.

And then I also was struggling with a dissertation problem, trying to figure out how to hold two views at the same time when one leaned pluralist and one leaned monist. I think I came up with a solution. I updated the settings for an assignment for my class and post an announcement about an upcoming due date. And I finished reading a book.

In all of these happenings all throughout the day, I kept feeling that I wasn’t doing enough. I did not get a lot of schoolwork done today. I watched cooking shows (one while I was exercising, so that barely counts). I didn’t get all my cleaning done. I could have done more.

But I need to be more kind to myself. Because I am doing a lot, even in all of the chaos of my life. All the care work that I do for my children is unpaid and unrecognized. But it’s still really important, and I’m going to keep at it. I’m going to keep trying, and give myself credit that I am doing a lot, and it is enough.