I’ve really wanted to slow down recently. I’ve been really bad at actually putting it into practice.

I set a rule for myself at the beginning of this week: only have ten items on my to-do list (and only three larger projects). I have failed at actually only putting ten things on my to-do list. Other things just creep in. It’s especially bad today, when I’ve just stuck everything on there. There are a lot of little things, so I might be able to do it. I make excuses for myself.

My life isn’t my to-do list. My mood doesn’t always match my to-do list. And sometimes there are really important things that I need to do that aren’t on there–take care of my family, reach out to a friend, find space to listen and breathe.

I’m trying. Recently, I got into a really bad habit where I was cramming my list full and then always feeling behind. The stress of being behind then caused me to short-circuit in a way, and then I wouldn’t do much of anything. It wasn’t a good thing.

Having an attitude of trying to limit my to-do list has helped. I’ve actually gotten more done, as I don’t feel as overwhelmed.

But I haven’t actually slowed down yet. It feels like I need to get things done before I can actually slow down.

Productivity and goals can be great, but they can also really get in the way of living. If we are focused on the goals and deadlines all the time, we forget to really enjoy the moments of living.

Things I did recently that weren’t on my to-do list: playing a board game with my daughter. Working on a puzzle. Reading a good book. Calling and talking to my husband. Meeting a new neighbor. Writing a thank-you poem.

We aim at productivity way too much, when sometimes we just need to enjoy life.

I’ll keep trying.

Further reading:

Peace and Rest—Even Now | Patrick Kearon | BYU Speeches