Category: Questions

Communication is important to relationships, but can too much communication be negative?

Often, we need more honesty and vulnerability. We need to talk kindly to each other and work through problems.

But sometimes our words can turn emotional and angry. They can focus on negative spaces and bring up old pain.

I think there are also times when words are inadequate to repair damage or fill up empty spaces. We need time without words, time for healing, time for action, time to be silent.

Our relationships need action, service, space, boundaries, patience, quietness.

Words are important, but they cannot solve all problems.

I feel loved when I recognize that I am a child of God and Heavenly Father loves me.

I feel loved when I remember my parents and everything they have done for me, and that they will continue loving me through hard times and good times.

I feel loved when I think of my family who likes to spend time with me and be with me just how I am.

I feel loved when I remember friends and family and neighbors who have shown kindness to me in so many small ways.

I feel loved when I remember how many people have said that they love me.

II feel loved when I accept and love myself, when I realize I don’t have to be perfect.

There are many rational arguments that there is a God, but I more because of feeling. The world doesn’t make sense without a God, but I’ve felt his love and his power in a unique, spiritual way, and that’s enough for me.

I like carrot cake. With milk.

My friend once ordered me carrot cake Oreos for my birthday and had them shipped to my house. It was one of the most thoughtful and surprising things anyone has ever done for me.

And if you don’t like Oreos, that’s okay. Homemade cookies/cake/etc. are always better.

Sometimes reading the scriptures isn’t very enjoyable. I’m reading the Old Testament right now, and I’ve just finished 1 Chronicles. It gets repetitive and I don’t understand quite a lot of it.

But I enjoy it when I’m looking for verses and phrases that resonate with me and can help me in my life.

In the middle of genealogies and lists, I came across this verse:

Be strong and of good courage, and do it: fear not, nor be dismayed: for the Lord God, even my God, will be with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee, until thou hast finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord.

1 Chronicles 28:20

I don’t like every single verse when I read the scriptures, but I come to love the scriptures when I search to find the single verse that can help me.

Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.

-Anne of Green Gables

Sometimes I am talking to someone and we just connect with each other. I have been unable to quantify exactly why.

There are other times I have a great conversation with someone, but even if we share lots of things in common with similar interests, I don’t feel very connected to them.

I’ve had friends where we just understand each other in a deeper way. I’ve had other friends when I feel like we’re always talking just past each other.

What is a kindred spirit anyway?

Having a kindred spirit means that you can be with someone without judgment, where you feel completely comfortable in your own skin and you can completely be yourself–and the other person feels the same way.

It means that you see enough of the world in the same way that you both are in focus with each other.

I just got a new vacuum. It’s a cordless vacuum, and I like it a lot in some ways, but it’s not perfect.

I own one cordless stick vacuum, one cheap normal vacuum, two shop vacuums, a combo vacuum-mop, and a carpet cleaner (that has been indefinitely loaned to my sister-in-law). I’ve also owned a car vacuum. That sounds ridiculous.

But I’m not alone in my vacuum struggle. As I was in the vacuum aisle, I had an acquaintance–our daughters were in preschool together–come up. She had a nice vacuum, but it didn’t have enough power to clean her house. Vacuums break easily and don’t work as well as we want them to.

But with all my appliances, my floors aren’t clean. My kids go in and out all the time, tracking in dirt. We spill food and stuff. I don’t clean as often as I could–I feel like I need to do it multiple times a day to keep up on it.

How do you keep your floor clean? How often do you clean it?

I’m thinking back to the days before vacuums existed. They would sweep and take rugs out and beat them with a stick. I think maybe they were probably just more tolerant of dirty floors back them?

I have moments where everything is great and I’m super happy and life is good.

And then something will change and suddenly, I am struggling.

Sometimes my outward circumstances look exactly the same, so many people don’t know that anything is wrong.

So many struggles are invisible.

So let’s be kind to each other and take the time to listen.

What are you struggling with?

In Star Trek, Vulcans think they are superior beings because they have suppressed emotions and work purely by logic. It’s a common narrative that we have rational, logical thinking opposed by emotions.

But what would happen if you have no emotions?

If you were never afraid, you would may constantly yourself in dangerous circumstances. If you never loved, you wouldn’t make a family. If you didn’t feel anger, you wouldn’t fix injustice. If you didn’t feel happy, what would be the point of living?

Basically, if we didn’t have emotions, we might die.

So emotions are rational. Our brains constantly work by using emotions. Emotions help us make decisions. We make sense of the world by feeling things and acting on these feelings. Emotions keep us wanting and keep us doing.

If purely logical Vulcans existed, they wouldn’t be higher beings: they would be dysfunctional.

The most important direction and goals you can have is how you want to help others and improve the world. If you spend your time pursuing things like wealth and experiences only for yourself, you are easily forgotten. But when you focus your life on improving other people’s lives, then you leave an impact that will last.