When I was young, we got a newspaper delivered to our house. I remember reading columns and loving the stories found there. I wanted to write a newspaper column when I grew up. But the world changes. Newspaper columns are not what they used to be, so that dream is dead.

I’ve had lots of dreams throughout my life. Years ago, I wanted to teach writing courses in college. I do actually teach college courses as a PhD student, but it’s a whole different world than what I imagined. Things have changed: the rise of generative AI with accompanied cheating, grade inflation, budget cuts, increased and underpaid adjunct faculty, and a toxic job market process make teaching in higher education a lot less appealing.

When you’re young, you try to plan out a pathway only to find out that that pathway as you imagined it never really existed. Most people don’t work in a job that is directly related to their degree in college.

There’s a song that says, “We have all learned to kill our dreams.” And we do have to learn that something that looks really great from the outside may end up not being a good fit for us at all. Our dreams are simply just dreams, imaginary things that are incompatible with reality.

But then reality can actually be a lot better.

We don’t usually dream about the simple moments of life, but those moments are where the happiness comes from. My best moments lately: Playing outside with my family. Hiking in the mountains. When a friend noticed I was down and texted me after church. Reading a good book. Laughing while playing a game. Talking to a stranger about their life.

Success and happiness are not found when we achieve our goals, but in the simple moments along the way. Sometimes when we dream we need to stop focusing so much on what we want to accomplish and focus more on how we want to live, and how we can nurture those moments that bring us joy.