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For a while, I have been following Martin from Wintergaten, who is making a marble machine that plays music. My sister, Liz, introduced me to it. He had a goal: create a marble machine that could go on a world concert tour and play music. And eventually, he figured out that the goal was a bit impossible. He had been making videos all along the way, and many people had funded his videos and project, and then he stopped posting.

He was very set on a end goal and didn’t want to settle for less, but when the end goal didn’t work out, he gave up on the parts of his project that had the most meaning to others.

Other people didn’t really care if the marble machine went on a world tour: they loved the videos. They loved watching someone work and learn and make mistakes. They loved the music.

And because that main goal didn’t work out, all of the other value that had been created in the project was dismissed.

Often, we set big goals for ourselves, in our careers and our families. I’ve set out to remodel my home recently, and it hasn’t always gone to plan.

But the point of my goal is not to end up with a fully renovated and beautiful home. Yes, that is what my goal is, but that’s the not the point. The point is the work that comes along the way.

I know a few people who obtained a piece of land and planned to build and finish a house. But then the unexpected happened and they never finished. Even though they didn’t finish their house, they got to live in the place that they wanted to be.

Incomplete does not equal failure.

Because life is full of the incomplete, and there are still so many small successes before completion can happen.

And we should celebrate and recognize those successes. We might even find we want to change our end goal because of the things we learn in the process.

Connection has been on my mind lately. Most of my goals are either about taking care of myself or in some way connecting with others. And I take care of myself so I can connect with others too.

I learn and create and work so that I can connect and hopefully improve others’ lives and improve my life too.

When I’m writing, it’s almost always some sort of connection. I connect to family members and friends; I connect with different versions of myself; I connect with strangers that can become friends.

I spend time with my kids; I visit family; I volunteer. And even when I’m working on my phone, I love the times that leads to conversation, and I’m hopeful that my home will be a place of connection.

This helps me when I feel lost and confused about what I need to do. When I’m worried about money or getting things done or achieving things, I forget that what makes me happy is connecting with others. And that can be just small connections with a few people. It doesn’t have to be big.

My Grandpa Claude today stood up and talked to his family. He mentioned that there are other names besides God that can be used, particularly Heavenly Parents and Creators.

And if we have Heavenly Parents, than we can become like them and also be Creators. And when we create, we are like our Heavenly Parents.

The plan of salvation is simple, really. He mentioned to me in conversation that if you look in the phonebook, you can find the true church, because he believes in the Church of Jesus Christ.

We had to basically move a wall today. There wasn’t quite enough space in our kitchen, so we had to shift the framing on our bar/island/counter thing over a few inches.

We also started working on erosion control on our pond–we put in some t-posts and hog panels and then took them all out again because it was not working as we thought it would.

Our roof slope is wonky, and we could have had it straighter if I would have thrown my calculations out the window and just built it.

One time, a child turned on the light switch and there were sparks.

And we put up wood paneling in a hallway, only to discover that it warped with temperature changes, and so we basically have to rip it out and start over again.

So we’ve made big mistakes and lots of little mistakes, and we’re still going forward and just trying our best. It’s okay to make mistakes and to measure wrong and waste material and not have everything turn out okay. It’s good to just be trying in the first place.

I like to blog on my own website since there are very few expectations. I’ve always thought a bit about doing more freelance writing work, but I’ve never actually pursued it much.

Why not? I’m not highly motivated by money or fame, for one thing. I’m also not self-motivated in some ways–when it comes to work, I sort of prefer that someone tell me what to do and then I do it, instead of trying to come up with everything myself. I am also uncomfortable with Interviewing people I don’t know.

And I have a hard time writing unless I am writing either about something I am super passionate about, or what just happens to be in my head at the moment.

There are other issues too, like I don’t know what to specialize in or write about, and I don’t have time and motivation in the right spaces.

So why would I write articles? Because I do like to write, and I could get paid and published. It makes sense in part of my brain, but another part doesn’t like the idea, and so I end up doing nothing.

• Assemble cabinets (Yes, I did two of them.)
• Figure out paint colors (I think so.)
• Clean my house. (Good enough.)
• Clean my bathroom. (It’s cleaner than it was.)
• Do dishes. (Dillon did them for me.)
• Do laundry. (At least some of it’s folded.)
• Take out the trash. (Yes.)
• Take my kids to preschool and classes. (Yes.)
• Feed myself and my children. (Yes.)
• Send out Christmas cards. (Yes! I was going to do it simple this year, but I failed, and it became overly complicated and awesome.)
• Finish editing a chapter of my book. (I at least worked on it.)
• Write another blog post. (Yes! Here I am!)

I went to write this post and there were quite a few things that I hadn’t gotten to yet. I was tired and wanted to be done working for the day, but I felt guilty posting this when it was only 8:00 and I still had plenty of time to complete a few more things.

So I went off to clean the bathroom.

• Assemble cabinets.
• Figure out paint colors.
• Clean my house.
• Clean my bathroom.
• Do dishes.
• Do laundry.
• Take out the trash.
• Take my kids to preschool and classes.
• Feed myself and my children.
• Send out Christmas cards.
• Finish editing a chapter of my book.
• Write another blog post.

I usually feel guilty around Christmas time.

I can get presents for people, put up a fake Christmas tree, turn on some lights, and buy gingerbread house kits.

But Christmas is supposed to be focused on Jesus Christ and serving others, and to be honest, I struggle with making Christmas feel special in that way.

I feel like I do okay focusing on Jesus Christ and serving others on a day-to-day basis. But sometimes daily life feels like a lot (especially when you are doing a kitchen remodel), and doing more for Christmas time is hard.

I want to be able to serve other people and make this a good time for my children, but I don’t want to do it just because someone else tells me to and I feel guilty.

How do you serve others during Christmas time? Do you worry about making it a special time of year?

• Words of wisdom
• Love
• Comfort and empathy
• Knowledge
• Support
• Help
• Advice
• Prayers
• Connection
• Stories
• Music
• Faith

From various pages on the internet:

The ability to judge well.

Perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtaining spiritual guidance and understanding.

Grasp and comprehend what is obscure.

Recognize small details.

Decide between truth and error.

A particularly perceptive way of seeing things.

Keen insight.

Discernment is something that I have tried to develop. I can’t make decisions and I don’t notice details, but I do like to think on and understand life and living and morality and faith and people.

I was in a few committees for Christmas things. One of the committees was talking about anxiety in children and helping them feel better. The word special was thrown out there, but I just mentioned that special means something unusual and better than someone else, and so if everyone is special, no one is (thanks, Incredibles). And so instead of making children feel special, because not every child is particularly special, they just need to understand their worth where they are, even if it’s in the back of the pack and struggling. People usually just want to feel loved; they don’t need to feel special.

In another committee, we were talking about Christmas and giving presents. And I mentioned how sometimes giving presents isn’t really helpful, and you need to listen to people. People just want to feel remembered more than they need gifts at Christmas. So in that conversation, we decided to make notecards for people to write letters and notes to people who needed it.

I think maybe those are examples of a certain kind of discernment. About seeing people and understanding enough that you can understand how to help