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  • Who Gets Saved?

    Who Gets Saved?

    Salvation is a common concept in religion. It may mean lots of different things, but perhaps it can be summarized as individuals becoming something beyond their own selves. It is something that is not only desirable, but it is often the entire purpose of existence.

    But who gets saved?

    Do you need to believe certain things? Do you need to practice certain things? Is it available to all, or only to a few?

    Many different religions and different denominations have different answers to this. For some, it seems that only a few get saved, those that are most righteous, or who engage in certain practices, or have a certain amount of knowledge (salvation is exclusive).

    But that may seem unfair. Shouldn’t everyone at least have the chance to be saved? Some people want a more inclusive view of salvation instead.

    And is there only one way to get saved, or are there many?

    I’m a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I have recently heard some misconceptions about who gets saved, according to that faith. Some people think that the Church only teaches that a few select people get saved, and the rest of the people are condemned, and that seems way too exclusive.

    But I don’t think salvation is really exclusive. Much of the Church’s teaching about salvation are in Doctrine and Covenants 76. While Christian churches believe in heaven and hell, this section goes beyond that and describes three degrees of glory: a celestial, terrestrial, and telestial kingdom.

    What is sometimes forgotten is that these are all degrees of glory, where everyone is in a good place. When this revelation was received, many struggled with it because it was seen as too universal. That everyone receives glory and salvation, not just a few. Instead of a division of heaven and hell that lasts for forever, heaven and hell are temporary, and what is eternal for almost everyone is some degree of glory.

    While the degrees of glory are divided up into three categories, there are actually more degrees than that. And these degrees aren’t so much some sort of reward, but reflects what a person wants, and how they want to live forever.

    So what if all these things are true?

    1. Everyone will have a knowledge of truth.
    2. Salvation is free and open to all.
    3. You can choose whether to be saved or not.
    4. So those people who do not want to be saved–they don’t want to become anything bigger than themselves–don’t have to.

    This is an inclusive view of salvation, but it doesn’t mean that everyone gets saved in a certain way. Everyone who wants to and choose to be saved is. It’s there. It’s available. It’s inclusive and applies to everyone. Unless they chose not to. Or they only want part of it.

    I think that offers a lot of hope.

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  • Characters over plot

    Characters over plot

    When you write a novel, you have to get the characters down or the plot doesn’t matter at all. You can have a really awesome plot with great scenes and cool action sequences and whatever, but if you don’t make the reader care about your characters, your reader will hate the book.

    But that is just art mimicking life. Because in life, the characters (people) matter a lot more than the plot.

    A lot of times we are focused on plot. That’s what a to-do list is, really. The actions that you go through in life. Our goals our often focus on the plot of our life: what we do and where we go.

    But who we are with is more important.

    I often remember times in my life not by what I accomplished, but by the people that were there. Family and friendship simply matter more than aspirations and achievement.

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  • Slipping into extremes

    Slipping into extremes

    One time in a class discussion I was leading, a conversation between two students started to get heated. They had opposing views: specifically, one student very much identified as a feminist and the other student did not. But I simply said that there were tradeoffs with both of their views. On one side, they would lose some nuance about unique, person and individual experience. On the other side, they would lose being able to look at and figure out solutions to systemic problems. It wasn’t that one person was right, and one person was wrong, but that they had different possible solutions to the same problem. Both were valid and might work, and both involved both some tradeoffs and different prioritizations.

    But when I read things on the internet, I don’t often hear the sort of language. Mostly, I hear people telling others to pick one side or the other and that there is nothing good on the other side. I have heard this in many different discourses: politics the most strongly, but also in workplace, religious, and other environments as well.

    Some problematic examples:

    • We should not trust experts who came from an elite, problematic academic setting.
    • Anyone who is pro-Palestinian is also antisemitic; anyone who is pro-choice is pro-abortion; anyone who is pro-LGBTQ rights is anti-family; anyone who is anti-racist is anti-white.
    • If you are a member of a certain church, you are part of a cult and have been subject to brainwashing.
    • MLMs are evil and anyone associated with them should be avoided.
    • If you are crunchy, you are also anti-vax and part of the alt-right pipeline.
    • Homeschooling is the only right way to raise your kids. -or- Homeschooling is child abuse.

    The opposite of some of those views can also be problematic.

    There is a lot of rhetoric that is simply “anti-” right now. Anti lots of different things, on all sides of the spectrum. But maybe we should just be anti-extreme? Maybe we should focus more on being good people instead of arguing and vilifying others?

    I have a professor who gave some really good advice: until you understand the appeal of a different viewpoint, you can’t really argue against it. You have to understand enough that you can see why people think that way and that it makes sense. And then you can argue against that view.

    I remember listening to a student who was arguing against a specific viewpoint, but did not yet understand it. That viewpoint seemed almost nonsensical to them, so it was easy to argue against it. But I knew and had talked to a professional who worked in that area, I realized that the student’s formulation was simply incorrect. They had completely missed this whole piece of the puzzle.

    Not understanding other people and other views quickly leads to extremism. Extremism is not simply holding an extreme view, but thinking that any other view is incorrect, evil, or something to be feared.

    Sometimes, when someone holds a reasonable view, they can get attacked by those who disagree with them. This sort of attack usually doesn’t lead to a change of a views, but to doubling down, moving to a more extreme side, and sometimes engaging in hate and bullying behavior.

    We need to return to a better understanding of one another. I have my own views and my own opinions, but usually things are so nuanced and complicated. There are problematic views and solutions that don’t work very well, but there’s very rarely only one side of an issue and only one solution that would work. Even if truth is simple, life is still complicated.

    There are good things that I am going to stand up for: I believe in compassion and care to individuals. I believe that we should support those who are struggling and need help. I believe that we should often refrain for judgment and get to know people first. I believe that the world needs to be improved, and that we should work on creating value and solving problems.

    I believe that sometimes, I don’t understand an issue, and that I should spend more time listening.

    I have tried to avoid snark and judgmental rhetoric that, while entertaining, is not uplifting or useful. I have tried to view sources and news stories that give multiple sides to an issue. I have tried to remember that things can get complicated and people make mistakes.

    I want to see more respect in our rhetoric, a movement away from extreme views and towards more kindness to each other. We won’t always get it right, but we can keep trying.

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  • Thoughts on Money and Value

    Thoughts on Money and Value

    I think I would like to live in a world where people wanted to maximize value and they did not want to maximize wealth.

    But in the world we live in, people make a lot of money by actually reducing value in the world. And some people earn very little or no money creating a lot of value. Value and money can be very different from each other, and money is not often a good indicator of actual value.

    What do I think is valuable? Caring for each other. Families and raising children. Nature and the environment. Friendship. Beauty and art. Eradicating diseases. Peace.

    What do I think is not very valuable? Cryptocurrency. Pennies. Luxury name brands. People being mean to each other. Hatred. Taking advantage of others. Wealth building upon wealth in an inexplicable way. Reputation.

    I don’t get paid for the most valuable work that I do. That’s just how it is. But I’m not seeking to maximize my wealth–I just want to be able to be self-sufficient and not worry about money much, and then be able to pursue those valuable things.

    Some people really seek careers that add value, but it’s hard to do that when many careers that add the most value often don’t pay that well (like teachers). But if you go into management and finance, suddenly you get paid so much money to make all these decisions that don’t actually improve anyone’s life.

    Some people want to maximize wealth and then think they can add value–if you’re really rich, you can do a lot of philanthropy. But I still think there should be value added along the way, and that those on top can make sure to support those who are supporting them.

    If people were concerned about maximizing the things that they actually value, the world would improve at a much faster pace. But if we only think about money as value, we get things all twisted about, and we end up destroying what good value there is.

    Further Reading: The Value of Everything by Mariana Mazzucato

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  • Ordering from the menu

    Ordering from the menu

    I saw a post a while ago, first that mentioned that of course there is a God, because he created all these wonderful things for us. And the second post was about how God is more like some sort of chef that should be in the back kitchen, but you put your order in, and nothing comes out. People tell you to keep trying, so you try again and again, and you never get a response.

    I understood that feeling. I have often felt that my heartfelt prayers went unanswered. I would plead that I could receive something to get me through a difficult time, and then nothing came.

    But then I wondered about that metaphor: God doesn’t have a menu. God does not give what we ask of him, bending his will to what we think we need.

    There have been many times in my life when my prayers have been answered in ways I did not expect, and sometimes in ways that were frustrating to me. But they were answered, even if it took a long time for me to see it.

    God sometimes gives me what I ask for, but sometimes he gives me something completely different. My life is very different than I expected or wanted, and it has been beautiful and miraculous, even when it has been difficult.

    If we are waiting for prayers to be answered in a certain way on a certain timetable, then we will be disappointed. But prayers are still answered. I’ve had evidence of that over and over again in my life, mostly as God helps me become a better person.

  • Courage is better than confidence

    Courage is better than confidence

    I’m currently teaching an in-person class. I’m new to teaching, and I’m doing the best that I can, but sometimes I don’t have a lot of confidence in myself. And that’s okay.

    Because confidence isn’t particularly motivating. I can be very confident that I can do something, but still not want to do it at all. I can feel capable and skilled, but that doesn’t meant I get up and do it.

    Courage can be what motivates me to actually do the thing.

    Getting a PhD has taken a lot of courage. I had to apply, and I had to get letters of recommendation, and pick out a writing sample that I thought would be good enough. And now I submit to conferences and teach classes. I reach out to committee members, and I meet with my advisor regularly. I get harsh feedback sometimes, and I keep going.

    But I don’t feel particularly good at any of this. I know I’m good enough to be here and do this thing, but I still have a lot to learn. I keep on growing.

    Courage helps me in those days when I know I’m struggling, but that I go out and I try anyway. I have courage when I raise my hand to ask a question sometimes. When I meet a new person and have to engage in small talk. When I want to go home and crawl in bed and not face the things in front of me, but I instead get up and do my best.

    If we wait until we are confident, then we don’t give ourselves the time and the space to learn. My best research is not when I figure it out on my own, but when I bring the beginning of an idea and share it with others. When I’m not confident, and I’m ready to learn and change, and I learn so much in that space.

    So don’t seek out confidence. It will come when it’s ready, and it doesn’t ever need to be there at all. Instead, seek courage, to get up and try even when you don’t feel like it.

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  • Lots to Do

    Lots to Do

    I was talking to fellow grad students one day, and some of them are basically dedicating all of their time to grad school, with a little bit of fun and enjoyment thrown in there.

    That’s not me right me.

    I go to graduate school, but I have another job too. I am a parent.

    Today, I had a lot of things to deal with. I tried to teach one child gratitude, another one better social skills. I helped with piano practice. I checked in on homework. I managed media time, locking up devices and turning things on and off as needed. I cooked dinner, and then made sure that the kids who didn’t want to eat that dinner still ended up eating something nutritious instead of just scarfing down tortilla chips. I baked cookies with my daughter, using the library book she checked out from the school library, and we successfully made a sugar cookie bowl. I played a card game with my son. I drove another daughter to a church activity. I ordered groceries for pick-up tomorrow. I ordered a new wifi adapter for the kids’ computer. I checked in with a kid who has started a journal and he showed me his entry. I washed sheets and I made beds and ensured that my kids showered and brushed their teeth.

    And then I also was struggling with a dissertation problem, trying to figure out how to hold two views at the same time when one leaned pluralist and one leaned monist. I think I came up with a solution. I updated the settings for an assignment for my class and post an announcement about an upcoming due date. And I finished reading a book.

    In all of these happenings all throughout the day, I kept feeling that I wasn’t doing enough. I did not get a lot of schoolwork done today. I watched cooking shows (one while I was exercising, so that barely counts). I didn’t get all my cleaning done. I could have done more.

    But I need to be more kind to myself. Because I am doing a lot, even in all of the chaos of my life. All the care work that I do for my children is unpaid and unrecognized. But it’s still really important, and I’m going to keep at it. I’m going to keep trying, and give myself credit that I am doing a lot, and it is enough.

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  • Life is Not Linear

    Life is Not Linear

    At some point in my life, I will have already completed my most important work. I will have had the happiest time.At some point, I will lose friends faster than I can make friends. I will have have been on top of the mountain and I only be able to go downwards.

    And then what?

    Life has many different seasons. It is not a linear progression upward, but a combination of lots of different things at lots of different times. We have seasons of productivity, success, and stability. But there other seasons of life: Rest. Decline. Struggle.

    I get really frustrated with life when I want this linear progression upward. Every day better than the last. Every moment better, better, better. But it isn’t. That’s not how life works.

    There are ups and down, but there are also things that are mixed up together, ups and downs at the same time.

    I can be grateful for those moments that are really good, while also realized that I don’t have to keep chasing them. I can live in the season I am in, instead of just always wanting better.

    The harder seasons are still really good. There are times when I’m not very productive, when I am behind, when I’m not really that happy. But that’s okay. There is still love in those seasons. There is still those small moments of joy, and it’s okay that they are small.

    Life doesn’t have to progress upward in order for it to be good.

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  • Home: The Safe Place

    Home: The Safe Place

    My kids behave their absolute worst at home. So do I, when it comes down to it. We all yell and scream and cry. Home becomes a place where all those emotions come out.

    It can be discouraging. I would like our home to be calm and clean and happy. But so often it feels like my home is full of garbage: Actual garbage. Emotional garbage. All those worst moments that I wish didn’t exist.

    I think the wrong way to deal with this is to try to eliminate all those bad moments. Because those bad moments need to happen. We all need a place where we can behave without expectations for a moment.

    And home can be that safe place. Home is the place where we can scream and cry and struggle. We put on a face everywhere else, and then at home we can totally relax and let all of the garage out, that garbage that we keep hidden.

    It’s a really good thing that my kids behave badly at home. Because they feel safe there. They feel like they can.

    Home becomes sacred because it houses all of us, not just the good bits.

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  • It’s okay not to finish

    It’s okay not to finish

    Sometimes I don’t do things because I don’t feel like I have the time and the energy.

    But I can give myself permission to not finish. If I don’t have to finish, I’m much better at getting started.

    I can clean part of my house. Fold part of the laundry. Read part of a paper. Write part of a blog post. Go on part of a hike.

    Small efforts are better than no effort.